My Book

About Book

Loving you is
hurting me

In her groundbreaking book, Loving You is Hurting Me, Dr. Laura Copley brings an unparalleled perspective as a practicing trauma-informed therapist to the realm of self-help and relationship guidance. This remarkable book stands alone in its field, being the only trade book authored by a therapist actively engaged in the trenches of healing complex trauma.

Dr. Copley masterfully weaves her extensive knowledge into captivating narratives, making the journey of healing and growth not only informative but deeply engaging. Through memoir and client transformative stories, she draws the reader into a world where deep self-inquiry and empathy are the foundations of overcoming personal struggles. Her storytelling is not just a mode of communication, but a powerful tool that resonates with the reader’s own experiences, making the concepts more relatable and impactful.

A key focus of Loving You is Hurting Me is on cultivating Post-Traumatic Growth. Dr. Copley doesn’t just stop at addressing the healing of trauma; she guides the reader toward a path of positive transformation, both in their personal lives and in their relationships. This book is a beacon of hope for anyone seeking to turn their painful past into a stepping stone for a future filled with intimacy, meaning, and self-trust.

Dr. Copley provides readers with tangible and hands-on activities designed to uncover past attachment wounds. These exercises are not just theoretical but are tools that have been honed in real therapeutic settings. They serve as interventions to break the painful patterns that sabotage relationships and personal growth. Moreover, the book offers strategies to transcend beyond mere coping mechanisms. Dr. Copley helps readers to embrace transformative growth, empowering them to rebuild their lives and relationships on foundations of strength and trust.

Loving You is Hurting Me is not just a book; it’s a journey of transformation. It’s a must-read for anyone who has experienced trauma, struggles in relationships, or simply seeks a deeper understanding of themselves. Dr. Laura Copley’s expertise, combined with her empathetic storytelling, makes this book a unique and invaluable resource for therapists, individuals in therapy, or anyone on the path to personal growth and healing.

how to get the free course

Get "My BEST LIFE BLUEPRINT" for Free
when you Buy Loving You is Hurting Me

New Years Special!

Embark on a guided, self-healing course with approximately 5 hours of self-growth content PLUS interactive exercises, engaging reflections, and take-home assignments to continue your transformation.

On your own time, start incorporating the 6 proven strategies known to increase happiness and improve wellbeing. You will complete this course with a deeper understanding of ways to overcome suffering, loneliness, and self-defeating thoughts. More importantly, you will discover a new appreciation for life! In these informative modules you will learn how:

1. Wellbeing Is A Journey

2. Happiness Can Be Learned

3. Kindness Can Be Nurtured

4. Love Can Be Found

5. Hope Can Be Nourished

6. Your Best Life Can Be Actualized

INSTRUCTIONS: To get access to your “Best Life Blueprint” portal, screenshot your order confirmation of Loving You is Hurting Me and attach it to the e-mail you will send to my team, support@thelifepathway.com. You will receive access to your course within 48 hours on weekdays.

how to get the free course

expert reviews

“A compassionate and concrete guide on healing the trauma that gets in the way of having fulfilling relationships, Loving You is Hurting Me offers a groundbreaking perspective on unravelling old toxic patterns and creating a life rich with love, connection, and purpose. Through her expertise as both a therapist and trauma bond survivor, Laura takes our hand and leads us through a deeper understanding of our family origins and helps us reclaim our story of healing and transformation.”

Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of the "Dear Therapists" podcast

"This is a read for anyone who is in a relationship or wants to be in a relationship. Dr. Copley does a fantastic job of breaking down an intimidating topic in a way that is thorough, digestible and tangible so you can actually make change. This book gives us a clear guide to understanding ourselves in a way that can lead us to the relationships we all deserve!"

Stacey Sherrell, LMFT and Co-Founder of Decoding Couples --This text refers to the hardcover edition.

"Beautifully written…a must-read for therapists and clients alike! Seamlessly incorporating research, psycho-education, and a variety of creative modalities, as well as poignant case examples and moving anecdotes from the author’s own life, we are invited to compassionately explore the dynamics of attachment trauma and the subsequent wounding, shame, and inevitable trauma bonds that are perpetuated and reenacted in adult relationships. Despite the difficult subject matter, Dr. Copley constantly and lovingly reminds us that we possess the capacity to tap into our own magical wisdom, self-compassion, and inner guardians, and offers thought-provoking and meaningful tools to help us navigate the journey from trauma to transformation and post-traumatic growth."

Lisa Ferentz, LCSW-C, author of Finding Your Ruby Slippers: Transformative Life Lessons from the Therapist’s Couch

"When couples get stuck in toxic patterns it’s often not enough to problem-solve and look for solutions. Sometimes to go forward, you have to first go down: into the relationship’s emotional underground. And what’s often there beneath the surface is trauma: two people held together by the pain of their pasts and trapped in patterns that persistently re-traumatize. Thankfully, Laura Copley is right there to guide us, shining a bright light on our emotional underground and showing us that the only way out is not back up, but “through.”

Ian Kerner, sex therapist and NY Times best-selling author of She Comes First

“Dr. Laura Copley has seamlessly woven together research, clinical tools, and memoir to offer us a powerful journey home to ourselves. This book is for everyone who has known hurt but who also knows, even if only quietly in this moment, that they are worthy of wholeness."

Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon, faculty, School of Education and Social Policy, Northwestern University; bestselling author, Love Every Day; podcast host, Reimagining Love

Get "My BEST LIFE BLUEPRINT" for Free
when you Buy Loving You is Hurting Me

Holiday Deal

Embark on a guided, self-healing course with approximately 5 hours of self-growth content PLUS interactive exercises, engaging reflections, and take-home assignments to continue your transformation.

On your own time, start incorporating the 6 proven strategies known to increase happiness and improve wellbeing. You will complete this course with a deeper understanding of ways to overcome suffering, loneliness, and self-defeating thoughts. More importantly, you will discover a new appreciation for life! In these informative modules you will learn how:

1. Wellbeing Is A Journey

2. Happiness Can Be Learned

3. Kindness Can Be Nurtured

4. Love Can Be Found

5. Hope Can Be Nourished

6. Your Best Life Can Be Actualized

INSTRUCTIONS: To get access to your “Best Life Blueprint” portal, screenshot your order confirmation of Loving You is Hurting Me and attach it to the e-mail you will send to my team, support@thelifepathway.com. You will receive access to your course within 48 hours on weekdays.

Top 5 Reasons to Buy Loving You is Hurting Me

The journey back to self-love and emotional intimacy with others awaits with this book

  • Expert Guidance from a Practicing Trauma-Informed Therapist: “Loving You is Hurting Me” is unique in that it’s authored by Dr. Laura Copley, a practicing trauma-informed therapist. Her real-world experience and deep understanding of complex trauma provide unparalleled insights and guidance. This book offers not just theories but practical wisdom grounded in professional practice.
  • Focus on Post-Traumatic Growth and Positive Transformation: Unlike many self-help books that only focus on coping with trauma, this book emphasizes the potential for Post-Traumatic Growth. It guides readers not only to heal from their past wounds but also to use these experiences as a foundation for a fulfilling future. It’s a roadmap to transforming pain into empowerment, fostering growth in personal lives and relationships.
  • Engaging Storytelling and Transformative Narratives: Dr. Copley captivates readers with her storytelling prowess, making complex psychological concepts accessible and relatable. Her transformative stories illustrate the principles of healing and growth, providing readers with a vivid understanding and emotional connection to the journey of recovery.
  • Practical Tools and Activities for Self-Discovery and Healing: This book is packed with tangible, hands-on activities that help uncover past attachment wounds and break harmful patterns. These tools are not just theoretical; they are practical interventions that have been proven effective in therapeutic settings. They are invaluable for anyone looking to make meaningful changes in their life.
  • Strategies for Building Intimacy, Meaning, and Self-Trust: Dr. Copley provides strategies that go beyond simple coping mechanisms. She offers insights into building a life rich with intimacy, meaning, and self-trust. This book is not just about overcoming trauma; it’s about building a life that is deeply fulfilling and enriched with healthy, trusting relationships.

FREE Trauma Bond Self-Help Booklet

Grab your free copy 

my Best Life Blueprint for free.

Holiday Deal

Embark on a guided, self-healing course with approximately 5 hours of self-growth content PLUS interactive exercises, engaging reflections, and take-home assignments to continue your transformation.

On your own time, start incorporating the 6 proven strategies known to increase happiness and improve wellbeing. You will complete this course with a deeper understanding of ways to overcome suffering, loneliness, and self-defeating thoughts. More importantly, you will discover a new appreciation for life! In these informative modules you will learn how:

1. Wellbeing Is A Journey

2. Happiness Can Be Learned

3. Kindness Can Be Nurtured

4. Love Can Be Found

5. Hope Can Be Nourished

6. Your Best Life Can Be Actualized

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expert reviews

“A compassionate and concrete guide on healing the trauma that gets in the way of having fulfilling relationships, Loving You is Hurting Me offers a groundbreaking perspective on unravelling old toxic patterns and creating a life rich with love, connection, and purpose. Through her expertise as both a therapist and trauma bond survivor, Laura takes our hand and leads us through a deeper understanding of our family origins and helps us reclaim our story of healing and transformation.”

Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of the "Dear Therapists" podcast

"This is a read for anyone who is in a relationship or wants to be in a relationship. Dr. Copley does a fantastic job of breaking down an intimidating topic in a way that is thorough, digestible and tangible so you can actually make change. This book gives us a clear guide to understanding ourselves in a way that can lead us to the relationships we all deserve!"

Stacey Sherrell, LMFT and Co-Founder of Decoding Couples --This text refers to the hardcover edition.

"Beautifully written…a must-read for therapists and clients alike! Seamlessly incorporating research, psycho-education, and a variety of creative modalities, as well as poignant case examples and moving anecdotes from the author’s own life, we are invited to compassionately explore the dynamics of attachment trauma and the subsequent wounding, shame, and inevitable trauma bonds that are perpetuated and reenacted in adult relationships. Despite the difficult subject matter, Dr. Copley constantly and lovingly reminds us that we possess the capacity to tap into our own magical wisdom, self-compassion, and inner guardians, and offers thought-provoking and meaningful tools to help us navigate the journey from trauma to transformation and post-traumatic growth."

Lisa Ferentz, LCSW-C, author of Finding Your Ruby Slippers: Transformative Life Lessons from the Therapist’s Couch

"When couples get stuck in toxic patterns it’s often not enough to problem-solve and look for solutions. Sometimes to go forward, you have to first go down: into the relationship’s emotional underground. And what’s often there beneath the surface is trauma: two people held together by the pain of their pasts and trapped in patterns that persistently re-traumatize. Thankfully, Laura Copley is right there to guide us, shining a bright light on our emotional underground and showing us that the only way out is not back up, but “through.”

Ian Kerner, sex therapist and NY Times best-selling author of She Comes First

“Dr. Laura Copley has seamlessly woven together research, clinical tools, and memoir to offer us a powerful journey home to ourselves. This book is for everyone who has known hurt but who also knows, even if only quietly in this moment, that they are worthy of wholeness."

Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon, faculty, School of Education and Social Policy, Northwestern University; bestselling author, Love Every Day; podcast host, Reimagining Love